One 5th of everclear
4 or 5 rhubarb stems or branches or whatever you call them
9 cups of water
3 cups of sugar
Chop the fuck out of your rhubarb.
Dump those splinters into a huge mason jar.
Pour the everclear over the rhubarb.
Close the jar.
It should look like a pickled abortion.
Let it sit there for four weeks.
Strain the rhubarb, squeezing as much booze out of the flesh as humanly possible.
The rhubarb should end up looking like a giant meat ball.
Compost that bastard.
combine 9 cups of water with 3 cups of sugar in a large pot over medium heat.
Once the sugar is dissolved, you will have simple syrup.
Remove from the heat, letting the simple syrup cool.
While the syrup cools, filter your booze a couple times through cheesecloth or a coffee filter.
Once the syrup is cool, pour the moonshine in.
Stir those molecules around.
Bottle it up.
It should yield 5 bottles.
Let it sit there for another 4 weeks.
DRANK IT DOWN, MUTHER FUCKER.