HAUSPLANTS

We gotta get some plants up in this mother. I want something that looks extraterrestrial and hopefully in tree form... but the search is not yielding a lot of fruit. Trees tend to look like trees and some of the weirder plants I have come across are cool looking but have unsavory attributes like carrying the stench of rotting flesh. There's also no shortage of succulents which I'm pretty bored of looking at. Why can't nature or scientists surprise me with something new or not even really new but super extreme. Like that Lady GAGA fellow; her music is sucks and her look is nothing new but she's not boring because she is extreme. Now that's what I want from a houseplant.
Brandon thinks it's unreasonable that I want species that do not exist, so even though he is wrong, I'm thinking about his suggestion. He thinks that we should have functional plants that we can eat. This means we could put something fruit-baring in our livingroom, herbs in the kitchen and something for the office that will keep the air quality...um...breathtaking.... Here are some uninspiring photos of potential plants:

Herb planters from West Elmikinz?

Herb planters?

Herb planters?

Foxtail Fern? Look at the way it glows against black paint?

Foxtail Fern for drinking Turkish coffee with Bronzed monks?

This thing is called "Princess Earing" which I hate but the flowers look like graphics from a Korean rave flier which I love.

Yucca...Although I like these better in tree form.

Layered pots inside or is that just too candle-party-fagamatron?

ORANGESORANGESORANGES

Clementines R EZ PEELZ OHKURR?

Does indoor citrus look too grandma's panties?

Olives? This could be good because they hate water or whatever.

Miniature Tuscan olive

Banana? Maybe but sans "sexy baby with wings" or the rest of this cluttered nightmare. Also, checkout how many garbage cans these people have.

 So far I'm liking the citrus or olive tree ideas for the livingroom. I'm not sure about the herbs in the kitchen deal. I think that's going to take some more planning after we get the black paint up. As far as plants in the office or downstairs go...I have no idea.